People in love make me want to vomit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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