She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
