lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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