But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
