i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
