Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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