Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
her vagine was all disorganized.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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