So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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