she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
