When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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