I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
