I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
MIDGETS
????
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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