Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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