I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize