wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
