U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
