tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I could make wine with my vomit
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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