I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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