Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
