the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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