There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize