i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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