my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
