I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
