She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
