yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
