It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
