I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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