Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
