I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
