That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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