This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
