I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
