Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
