okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
