It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
