I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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