She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
