dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
