This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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