i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
