i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
