I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
