so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
