bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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