Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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