i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
