i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
