you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
