i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
