I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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