dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
