Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
