its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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