is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
