you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
