I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
