Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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