It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
