I'm lost and stupid without you.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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