I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
