He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
