theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
