Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
